How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
