high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
