I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
