Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
