Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Floor bacon is actually really good
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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