when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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