apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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