i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
3 2 1 whiskey
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
