OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Randomize
