I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
