Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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