Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've blown a few things in my day
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
