yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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