I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
