My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
