and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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