we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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