Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
