My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize