my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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