I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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