If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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