I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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