Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
