She bit a glass in half.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
