what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
