Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
