Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
