Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
