The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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