Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
