Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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