is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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