both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
