make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
