It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
