so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
