Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm too high and old for this...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
