What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
