The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
