going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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