What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
