Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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