Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
