We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
