yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
