So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
