its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
