Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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