Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
