Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
