hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
