There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
