I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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