You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
