is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
