I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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