he told me I talked like a deaf person
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
