Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
