So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he shaved USA in his pubs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
