Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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