About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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