Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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