I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
