I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize