your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
