there were more penises there than on chat roulette
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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