he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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