I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
