peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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