you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
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