mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
