Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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