:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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