i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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